No matter what unfolds as the regular season kickoff approaches, and no matter how many offseason storylines end up being proven true or debunked, one undeniable truth has been obvious this season: this team looks better than any other Longhorn squad we have seen in recent memory. And I'm not just talking about their resume on paper. I'm talking about the full-fledged, jaw-dropping eye test.

Every person with even a fleeting connection to the Longhorns has been left in awe of this team's physical prowess. They've bulked up so much that quarterbacks resemble linebackers, offensive linemen could double as heavyweight wrestlers, and receivers not only can flex their muscles but are faster than last year. The only ones huffing and puffing at practices are us media folks, who, let's be honest, could use some time on the treadmill – preferably during the open practice sessions.

In a twist worthy of a Hollywood screenplay, a lot of this metamorphosis can be credited to none other than Torre Becton, the strength and conditioning coach. Yep, the same guy who had folks up in arms during years one and two with his seemingly stealthy productivity. So, let's pivot from pitchforks to pats on the back and give the man his due for sculpting these chiseled Longhorn warriors.

But hold your protein shakes, because today's spotlight isn't just about sweat and workout warriors. It's about diving fork-first into the often-neglected world of dieting. Yup, we're talking about that mystical realm that demands discipline, planning, and dedication – three things harder to find than hair in my comb.

Remember those friends who pledged to eat salads all year but bailed at the first sight of a Whataburger? Or those who started with a juice cleanse only to end up parked at the drive-through with a mountain of fries? Well, surprise, surprise, Texas players are cut from the same greasy, fast-food-loving cloth.

Over the years, I've been on the phone with players who've momentarily placed me on hold to make their drive-through selections. I've heard tales of post-practice fast-food orders that sounded longer than a Jon Gruden play-call. If nutrition was a football play, it was certainly buried deep in the playbook.

But guess what? The tables have turned faster than Xavier Worthy breaking for the end zone. Eating cleaner than a whistle has become the gospel of this off-season, and Sarkisian has been preaching about the value of healthy eating. It's not an add-on; it's a lifestyle, a transformation that's making the grease-soaked ghosts of drive-throughs past cringe.

The Longhorns are rewriting the playbook.

In the kitchen.

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